Idiots who can't use their headlights on their cars properly

Another thing that irritates me is tossers who insist on using high beam on their cars at night... in an area which clearly doesn't need high beams (most of the country). Idiots! I can see you perfectly well, I don't need people like you to dazzle me from behind! What I want to get is a dot-matrix display for the back window, so that when I'm confronted by idiots like that, I can type in a little keyboard from my wheel, "TWAT!". That'll teach them!

People who park shoddily

I really really hate people who can't park their cars properly. I bet you must've come across a twat who parks so close to the lines, you can't reasonably park your car centrally enough to be able to get out without smacking the other person's car next to you. The worst I saw was a van which was parked over two spaces, the selfish idiot! This is why I should carry around a pad of A4 paper with a pen and next time I see a car which hasn't been parked properly, I will get a piece of paper, write on it "TWAT!" and put it on their windscreen!

My Little Black Book (continued)

OK, here's No.4:

4. Robbie Savage - serial whinger and idiot who thinks he's better than other world-class players. Such as Paolo Maldini. He needs a very big slap for disrespecting the God of Italian football. Twat!

Useless London trains

Typical London trains, the moment there's a slight change in weather, everything grinds to a halt! I should'be know, the BBC news this morning said that there were problems in Norwood Junction (which isn't even on my way to work), which is an euphemism for problems in the entire South East area. I was on my usual train this morning, the 9:06 (which was late, as usual, by a few minutes) and guess what time I got into London Bridge? A whole HOUR! It was stupid, we had gone through New Cross Gate as usual and was on the final stretch into London Bridge, when we were stopped in traffic. For ages. And ages. And ages. It was ridiculous. So we limped into London Bridge (it looked like they had packed all the trains nose to tail on all the platforms, as if they were stocking for winter or something, unusual cos there is only supposed to be one train per platform) at around 10am, which coincidentally was the time I was supposed to be in work. Bastards!

As for going home, no better. Train into Charing Cross was late (the 18:23), apparenly due to "signalling problems in the Lewisham area". Of course it meant that I got into London Bridge late for my usual 18:36 train (this two-stop trip from Charing Cross was bad, I had some bitch's bag on my feet and her in my face) so I missed it. Bollocks!

Speed Cameras

I mentioned before that I now have a super-fast VW Golf 1.8Turbo GTI (although now I wish I had a V5 Golf instead). But I can't use the full power of it cos of the scourge of the modern car... speed cameras. In London there seems to be speed cameras EVERYWHERE! It pisses me off because I can't drive without having to use the brake to slow right down. Damn things, I have all this power and I can't use it cos of those stupid yellow boxes. And then we have the sneaky grey hidden ones that you see at the last second, causing you to stamp on the brake to avoid a fine. These things are a menace and I say we should only have them on blatantly fast roads (like straight ones that have lots or pedestrians around), not on hills (yes there is one in South Norwood which goes UP a hill) or on dual carriageways (what's the point of dual carriageways if you can't use the speed on them?). For the love of cars, just GO!

Useless Drivers

I recently swopped my Mini Thirty Limited Edition for a nice VW Golf 1.8Turbo GTI. Aaaaah, the power! The speed. The driving experience... is crap! Not thanks to the car, but thanks to the shitty crap drivers that infest the roads of South London. Useless! I can't even try to get up to a decent speed without some idiot pulling out in front of me from some side-road. Didn't these twats learn that you're not supposed to pull out into a road so as to cause the car behind to slow down? It really annoys me! I also hate it when I get idiots who change lanes at the last second just as you're about to pass them. Why don't you just piss off and stay in your own, slow lane you idiot? And slow idiots. I really hate people who drive like they're Driving Miss Daisy. If I wanted to drive slow, I'd bloody well would've stayed in my Mini!

My Little Black Book

There are certian "celebrities" or "famous people" who I really hate. They get on my wick and cause me to want to kick them senseless if I ever met them. Below is a list of the people who I really really hate, the most hated starts at the top.

1. Roy Keane - This fool thinks he's hard and is better than everyone else. I for one would personally seek him out and kick him when he's down. He's a twat, a bully and someone who I have no qualms about headbutting if I ever met him. The way he treated his superiors just before the 2002 FIFA World Cup is a disgrace. Then the idiots at the Irish FA let him back into the team, therefore demonstrating that Roy Keane is indeed bigger than the team. He seriously needs taking down a peg or twelve and I'd be more than happy to do it.
2. Jade Goody from Big Brother 3 - She's an arsehole and common as muck. I can't believe she's still in the public eye. For what? All she did was show herself to be a two-faced bitch during Big Brother 3 where she'd say one thing to someone's face and then bitch about them behind their back. She's ugly and looks like she needs her face slapped (which it probably already has).
3. Emma from Big Brother 5 - For Emma, read "Jade Mk 2". Emma's isn't two-faced, but the way she disgraced herself by fighting Victor was nothing short of pathetic. She was wrong. End of.